5 Questions: Discover your Ideal Doula

So now you’ve learnt what a doula is and what kind of services you want. The next step is about finding the right doula for you. Google search and the directories will give a long list of doulas in your area that suit your expertise but ultimately, it is all about if the connection is right.

Your chosen doula becomes a close companion so finding the right doula for you can feel finding your perfect partner.

Here are 5 questions to ask your potential doula in the interview stage.

“Where are you located and how far would you be willing to travel?”

This is something that may come up early on but it’s best to discuss in its entirety during the interview stage. A Doula’s location can determine the level of support they are able to offer you, and you will want to choose a doula who can show up for your preferences. Preferences such as birth attendance, and how frequently you can meet during pregnancy.

Sometimes alignment does not always occur when choosing a doula and forcing a relationship to happen could strain the relationship before it’s even began.

“What are your core values as a doula?”

What is important to you in your perinatal journey? How might this align with your potential doula? This could be anything from home birth to unmedicated birth to breastfeeding. What is your chosen doula most passionate about?

Try to understand what your potential doula champions in their work and how these values align with your own. In doing so, you can determine how compatible your relationship will be. Journeying with a doula who can passionately show up for what’s important for you can shape your entire perinatal experience.

“How do you feel about hospital births?”

Doulas are trained to support your choices irrespective of their own beliefs, but alas, they are only human. Bias may seep through the cracks and it’s important to know how your potential doula truly feels about supporting hospital births.

There are undeniable contrasts between medical support and doula support, and some doulas may feel strongly against modern medical practices. Whilst this is ideal for some clients, it does not suit the everyone and in some cases, could do more harm than good. Perhaps you’re someone with considerable medical needs and you feel safest in a hospital setting; a doula who feels strongly against hospital births may not be for you. Instead, you can discover doulas who happily and confidently attend hospital births, advocating for your medical needs.

On the other hand, perhaps you’re someone who is seeking a physiological and unmedicated birth, a doula who champions your (informed)choices ‘outside of medical guidelines’ may be just right for you.

Again, discovering what’s important to you in your perinatal journey can help discover the best doula support.

“How will you support me if I experience bereavement or loss?”

This is something you may not wish to talk about but should the unthinkable happen, it’s important there is something in place to ensure care is offered and boundaries are met.

Doulas are professionals who are trained to respond to bereavement/loss experiences with the utmost care and compassion. In fact, this is ultimately a part of their package. Discovering what the terms of their support after bereavement and loss means can ensure that even in the most difficult circumstances, your care is a priority.

“What group of people do you centre your support around?”

What part of your identity shapes your perinatal journey? Perhaps it’s your age, ethnicity, sexual orientation, or accessibility. Whilst doula support is generally universal and most doulas are happy to take on clients from many backgrounds, there are doulas who specialise in supporting ‘marginalised’ groups and communities.

By choosing a doula who can show up for these parts of your identity, advocacy becomes most effective and centred in their support. By discovering the parts of your identity that are most important to you, you are able to discover a doula who can meet you there with intention, understanding, and lived or learned experience - shaping support around the cultural, emotional, and practical realities that matter most to you.

Choosing a doula is an intimate, intuitive process, and these questions are designed to help you move beyond the surface and into genuine connection. Your chosen doula is someone who understands your values, respects your choices, and can hold space for every part of your journey. When you discover your chosen doula, you’re inviting in a companion who will walk alongside you with care, advocacy, and unwavering belief in your autonomy. Your perinatal experience deserves nothing less.

Are you ready to choose a doula? Discover more about The ReBirth Space, our doula services and book a chat today!

With compassion,